Voldemort meets the Brady Bunch
by BellaItaliana
Summary: I think the title basically explains it all. When I wrote this I was kinda hyper and just got through watching that brady bunch movie.


disclaimer: I own none of these people. Voldemort and the death eaters belong to J.K. Rowling. And the Brady Bunch people belong to someone I'm not quite sure who though.  
  
a/n: Whatever I write about the Bradys might not be accurate. All my information was taken from whatever I saw in The Brady Bunch movie and A Very Brady Sequel.  
  
  
  
  
Voldemort meets the brady bunch  
  
Wormtail once again holds a meeting for the death eaters.  
"Man, what is it with all these meetings?" said one death eater.  
"I know I'll laugh if Dr. Evil strikes again! That was too funny watching you know who getting attacked my mini me!" starts to impersonate voldemort. "EEEEE!!!!! HOLD ME WORMATIL HOLD ME!!! EEEEEEEE!!!!!!" death eater starts laughing but other death eater stays quiet and shoots death eater # 1 looks.   
"What what's wrong?"  
"Ahem"   
Death eater turns around. "Ohhh no," death eater says as he slaps his forhead. "I am such an idiot"  
"Yes you are an idiot!" voldemort says as he also slaps the death eater's forehead.  
"Avada Kedavra!"  
Death eater dies.   
"Anyone else who would like to mock me?"  
Everyone stays quiet.  
"I thought so. Now the reason for this meeting is once again I have a rival evil genius. Only now there is 9 of them,"  
Death eaters confused begin to ask questions all at once.  
"AH! Shut up! The evil geniuses are a family of evil geniuses,"  
"What family?"  
"Wormtail reports to me that the head of the family is a man named Brady. Wormtail also reports that he was raising 3 boys of his very own when he met a lovely lady who was also bringing up 2 very lovley girls. Who by the way all have hair of gold like their mother BUT the youngest one... she has curls,"  
"But that is only 8 people sir," says one death eater.  
"Yes of course and then there is some other woman named Alice," Voldemort replies.   
"Alice! HA! There strikes fear into someone's heart!" Death eater cracks.   
Voldemort narrows his eyes. "Are you trying to say that you do not believe me?"  
"No, no, not at all-"  
"Oh My God! Is this going to be like the last time? All you stupid death eaters interrupting me? Oh I've had enough. I have to save my strength. Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort says.   
Death eater dies.  
"Off to kill the Brady Bunch!" Voldemort says as they apparate into the Brady house.  
  
"Oh! My nose!" screams Marcia who just got hit in the nose with a football. She runs into the kitchen and Alice holds ice of her nose while the rest of the family surrounds her. They hear a loud noise in the living room and go to see what happened.  
"Look guys! Company!" Peter screams out.  
The Brady family surround Death eaters and Voldemot looking excitedly.  
"Aha! Now you will all die!"  
"For what?" Cindy asks.  
"For being evil geniuses!"  
"For being evil geniuses? Who is an evil genius? I'm not an evil genius. Who here is an evil genius?" Peter asks confused.   
"Peter! You are going to confuse the man! One question at a time!" Jan says.  
"Peter? You stole my name!" Wormtail says.  
Peter and Wormtail argue over who the name originally belongs to and they end up fighting.  
"He can ask what ever question he wants Jan!" Marcia says. Marcia notices Malfoy and walks up to him and says, "Hi I'm Marcia Brady. You have to excuse my sister Jan. She is very rude. Sometimes I think she was adopted. She is so unlike me."  
"Marcia! Why do you have to embarrass me!" Jan says.  
"Now kids," Mike Brady says.  
"It's always Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!!"  
Marcia continues to chat with Malfoy and Wormtail and Peter are brawling all over the living room.  
Voldemort has enough and yells for everyone to shut up.  
"Now," Voldemort says, "Who is the head of this family?"  
"I am. Hello I'm Mike Brady,"  
Voldemort looks at him evily and thinks of ways to destroy the Bradys  
"Is there anything I can help you with?" Mike asks.  
"Yes you can die,"  
The Brady bunch stays quiet.   
"Well, I don't wanna die," Bobby says.  
The other Bradys murmer in agreeement.  
"I know! Why don't we solve this by making a house of cards!" Greg exclaimed.  
The Bradys agree excitedly.  
"NO!" Voldemort yells. "You must all die!"  
"Why?" Jan asks.  
"Because you are all evil geniuses,"  
The Bradys start laughing.  
"What is so funny?" Voldemort demands.  
"There are no evil geniuses here, I can gaurentee you Mr..." Carol says trailing her sentence.  
"I am Lord Voldemort! BOW AND TREMBLE BEFORE ME!" Voldemort thundered.  
"OH WOW!!!! We never had a Mr. Voldemort here before!! Mom, can Mr. Voldie stay for dinner???" Cindy asks excitedly.   
"Well kids its up to Mr. Voldie," Carol answered.  
"its VOLDEMORT!!!"  
"Can you stay? Huh? Huh? Please? Please? Pleeaaasssseeeee????" all the kids beg.  
"I am here to-"  
"Yay stay!!!"  
Marcia gasps. "Let's go shopping!!! Mr. Voldie needs a makeover," Marcia said.  
"I do not need a makeover!"  
"Yes you do!" Marcia insists.  
"Well this is perfect! Mr. Voldie can take the kids shopping and I can make you some of my special meatloaf Mr. Voldie!" Alice says.   
"What in the bloody hell is meatloaf?"  
"Well now you have to stay and have sone meatloaf!" Carol says.  
Voldemort takes steps back and whispers to Malfoy. "What is this meatloaf they speak of? Is it some kind of poison? Do you think they will make an attempt to torture us?"  
Malfoy shakes his head. "I do not know master,"  
All the Brady kids surround Voldemort and the death eaters. They grab Voldemort and Voldemort screams.  
"Wormtail help me!!" Voldemort yells. Voldemort continues to scream.   
Wormtail could not come to Voldemort's rescue because he was busy arguing with Peter. "Malfoy! Malfoy!" Voldemort screams as he is getting ushered away by the Brady kids.  
"Oh he is coming too. He is sooo cute!" Marcia says giggiling as she takes Malfoy's arm. Malfoy with a horrified look on his face begins to scream.  
Wormtail, Voldemort and Malfoy gets ushered away by the Brady kids as Carol, Mike, and Alice wave goodbye to them. On the way to the shopping mall the Brady kids keep singing happy songs. With each song Voldemort and the 2 death eaters become more and more frightened.  
"Malfoy, I'm so scared. These people are too happy!" Voldemort says frightened. But what Voldemort did not know was the terror was just beginning. The Brady kids continued to sing happily throughout the entire trip. They bounced (literally) from store to store. Dragging the two death eaters and their leader for ice cream. By the time the shopping trip was ended the two death eaters and their leader were no longer dressed in robes but in 60s style clothing. Marcia had gave Voldemort his makeover and he looked like a clone of Davy Jones.  
"I don't like this polyester shirt," Malfoy said.  
"I don't know I kind of like this look, the only problem is I do not look evil. Hmmm I think I shall let this Marcia girl live. She can help me with my wardrobe," Voldemort said.  
"NO! Master! The girl frightens me!" Malfoy says as he shudders because Marcia winks at him.   
"Quiet Malfoy! This is my decision not yours!" Voldemort says as he slaps Malfoy in the head.   
"Come! Mr. Voldie! Dinner is ready!" Alice says.  
"Ahh the meatloaf. Come! Let us look at what this thing is!" Voldemort says.  
They all sit down to dinner. Voldemort looks at the object with disgust.  
They all talk excitedly.  
"All right I've had enough!" Voldemort yells slamming his fist on the table.   
"Mr. Voldie?" Cindy asks.  
"You know what? I don't think you people really are evil geniuses. You people are too stupid. You are too... happy!"  
"Of course we are! We are all gay!" Mike says.  
"Excuse me?" Voldemort says.  
"We are all gay!" Mike repeats. The Bradys all agree.  
Voldemort shakes his head. "I'm not even gonna say anything about that one. Thats it. I've had enough. You people are a bunch of morons. Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort yells. All the Bradys drop dead.  
"Wormtail you fool! You got the wrong people who are evil geniuses!"  
"Sorry Master!" Wormtail says.  
"Wormtail find that genius!"  
"Yes Master!"  
  
The End.... 


End file.
